Thursday, January 6, 2011
In life we all have a journey to take. We all have a purpose. Lessons to teach and lessons to learn.
From as early as I can remember I dreamed of being a mom. I wanted to be pregnant. I wanted to snuggle a bitty baby. I wanted to lay on the floor with my infant staring at the fan. I wanted to record the first steps. I wanted to witness first words. I wanted to play and listen to my toddler. I hoped to teach my older kids outside the traditional classroom. I wanted to show them the world. I wanted to help my baby get ready for their first day of school and college. Their wedding. Be a grandma.
I married into two beautiful girls. One approaching puberty and one still such a little girl. My heart swelled with love for them. I would give them a kidney. I ache when they ache. I am vested in their future. I am present in their future And I have learned almost every story of the past. I fell in to being a mom and how rewarding the challenge has been.
Then Jess and I started trying to have a child together. I lost our first pregnancy. And then came TWINS! My dreams came true with that one ultrasound. Unfortunately we lost one of the twins early. But Delaney held on. She was strong. My pregnancy was hard and scary at times. Finally Delaney came into the world. Wow was she perfect. Yes she was born via csection. Yes her feet her horribly turned in. Yes she had bad jaundice. Yes she had tongue tie. But this kid was perfect. I got to snuggle my bitty baby. Lots! we returned back to the hospital at 28 days. It was devastating and scary but that experience changed me as a mom. I learned to trust my gut despite what anyone says. Then next 7 months I got to play on the floor with my infant. We had fun trying on clothes, finding interesting things to take her picture in(soup pot, purse, etc), and taking walks. During this time I learned to push for answers and enjoy the little moments.
By months 10 and 11 we learned to pray for guidance with our whole hearts. We learned when to say no and when to ask for better answers. We learned to celebrate milestones in a different way.
By one year we had learn to accept that some milestones might not happen. We did however catch her first steps on video. They were during physical therapy the day she got her first braces. We could not have been more excited if They were in our living room on a Sunday afternoon.
She taught me to celebrate and fight like hell for breastfeeding.
She taught us to re-evaluate our idea of feeding and meal times. She taught us to slow down and rest. Often. She taught us to travel for the truth. She taught that even in silence countless things are said. She taught us how to pray with every cell in our body. She taught Julia how to be a big sister with protective instincts. She taught Charlotte how to find her female instincts she taught us all a whole new medical language. She taught us to smile through pain. To accept challenges as life and move on. She taught us how to cry and scream and laugh and smile. She taught us to look at our own mortality as well as hers. She taught us that there is great strength is weakness. She taught us how to give back even when we are tired or broke or sad or busy.
She taught us how to become an unbreakable family of God. Us 5 females are pretty powerful with our tiny leader.
We are saying goodnight to day 9 in the hospital. We are saying goodnight to a very bad day for Delaney.
The picture at the top is from today. It was a brief 5 minutes today that Delaney giggled and played through the exhausting pain and nausea and energy crisis and breathing struggles. THIS is our girl. She's such a fighter.
Too many of our friends are currently facing what we are. Too many are learning the lessons we are. Too many are losing their kids. Too many watch them struggle daily.
I challenge you to look around and learn the lessons but also try to teach too. Whether you have no financial issues, your child is the picture of perfect health, and your life is all around wonderful; you still have lessons to learn and you still have lessons to teach. I hope that you can learn from our Mito Warrior Princess. I hope that you can learn from good fortune and bad.