Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Today's OB appointment didn't go well. I failed my Biophysical Profile because my amniotic fluid is too low. My blood pressure shot up. I had 4 contractions in 30 minutes of being on the monitors. And the doctor said it will be a matter of days not weeks until she comes out. He also said that if I was 38 weeks pregnant instead of 36 weeks he would have had me in the OR today at noon delivering her. As of right now I have an appointment again on Friday, Monday, and Thursday. He thinks there is a good chance she will come this weekend though.
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Ethan born 12-26-08
Congrats ladies on your two absolutely beautiful boys!!!! Here in Kansas we are super excited for our "online" friends that had babies over the past couple of days. We are thankful that both boys are healthy and happy as well as all 4 of their mothers!!!! We can't wait to join the mommy club!
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Now that the holidays are upon us they are bringing on the stress and emotion. I think the holidays provoke emotion, good or bad, for every single person. This year we are celebrating Christmas without Jess' aunt and paternal grandfather. We are also celebrating the holiday knowing this is probably our last with Jess' maternal grandfather. That alone brings on emotion...now add in several meals with family that hates that Jess is gay, doesn't acknowledge our unborn child, and has so MANY judgments and watch emotional overdrive. Now these emotions may not be some of the best ones to feel around such a wonderful time of year, but they are also riddled with emotions like excitement, love, and happiness. We have two wonderful, beautiful children that help show us the excitement of the holiday. We have the excitement and love and happiness associated with already being parents and the impending birth of our first daughter together. Jess and I are also surrounded by family and friends that love us and accept us just as we are which makes those that don't fade into the background of our consciousness. We are so thankful for our year. We thank God for so many things and pray that 2009 blesses us just as 2008 did. We pray that your family is doing well this holiday and you are in our thoughts and prayers as we enter a new year.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Here are some pictures of Julia with max tonight in the snow! Plus an update on us.
Last night I was in the hospital until 3a.m. I was feeling short of breath and having cramping so I went in after Jess and I put the girls to bed. They checked my BP, it was great. They checked my pulse ox and pulse rate, both were okay. Peanut's heartbeat was awesome. They did an EKG and it came back normal. I was having contractions lasting a minute and a half to two minutes every 3-4 minutes. I kept getting asked how much I weigh and had all sorts of comments about my weight which totally offended me. My contractions slowed down and stopped on their own...only to pick back up once I got home. They treated me with an albuterol inhaler since I've had asthma and they couldn't think of another reason I was short of breath. My blood work showed an elevated white count...so there is an infection somewhere in my body they just don't know where nor did they seem to care really. So now I'm just waiting till Thursday to see MY doctor...hoping the contractions stop and the infection isn't anything serious.
Sunday, December 7, 2008
I have been complaining a LOT lately about how uncomfortable I was and how much my body hurts. I couldn't figure out why I was being such a huge wimp about this whole pregnancy thing. Well I also didn't realize I was the size of a small house! Yes I do still have EIGHT weeks left of growing to go until my due date. All I can say is Oh my goodness gracious!
Monday, November 24, 2008
Tomorrow I'm hoping Jess will take a belly shot. Boy has it gotten HUGE!
9 weeks 4 days and counting
Friday, November 21, 2008
THE MAN WITHOUT SIN THROW THE FIRST STONE!
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Next week we start our weekly biophysical profiles. That's where they measure the amniotic fluid and Peanut to make sure that growth is doing well, but not too large and the fluid levels stay appropriate. So I go back Monday...I'll let you know how that goes.
Colds colds colds...our 6 year old has had a severe cold for 2.5 weeks now and now Jess and Charlotte have the cold. Charlotte is just sniffing a little...but Jess is practically dying with this cold. She's snotty, coughing, sneezing, etc. She can't breathe. She can't sleep. This is making for a fun household. We are very lucky in that the kids sleep 10-12 hours straight at night, even with their colds....maybe they get so worn out during the day running around that they just pass out. Whatever the reason I'm just thankful that God blessed me with two good sleeping children...even if the wifey won't sleep!
Tonight is a little dinner party. We are having 4 friends over to enjoy a lovely low key dinner. I'm happy to see people that are not related to me or that I go to church with. Being a stay at home mom really limits ones ability to interact with different people. Anyway let's hope the dinner goes well tonight and the snotty noses dry up quickly.
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Got to the hospital, they did a hormone test to see if I would be likely to deliver in the next 2 weeks...it came back negative. They did a test to see if I was leaking amniotic fluid...it came back negative as well.
The doctor said some people are just more prone to early contractions and that I need to drink a LOT more water. If I have another episode I'll be put on strict bed rest.
Friday, November 14, 2008
We went for our 3D sonogram on Wednesday. The kids cames, Jess' mom was there, my dad was watching and listening via the web from Arkansas, and Jess' brother was watching and listening via the web from Chicago. Delaney was a little stinker and would not cooperate. She is a position where her bottom is low and she's got her legs completely extended directly in front of her body, her toes are in her eyes and her hands are folded in front of her face. She did not want to show us her face. I got up and literally jumped around and she didn't budge. The sonographer literally beat my stomach with her little sono tool and she didn't budge. We got to count 10 fingers and 10 toes. We saw her face in exactly one shot over the entire hour. She's got little chunky cheeks already. She has fat little thighs. She's perfect. We can't wait to meet her! Since I have GD she won't be delivered after 39 weeks so that only leaves 10 weeks left!!!!!!!
Monday, November 10, 2008
Friday, November 7, 2008
Okay. So Prop 8 passed. Alright, I get it. 51% of you think that I am a second class citizen. Alright then. So my wife, uh I mean, roommate? Girlfriend? Special lady friend? You are gonna have to help me here because I am not sure what to call her now. Anyways, she and I are not allowed the same right under the state constitution as any other citizen. Okay, so I am taking that to mean I do not have to pay my state taxes because I am not a full citizen. I mean that would just be wrong, to make someone pay taxes and not give them the same rights, sounds sort of like that taxation without representation thing from the history books.
Okay, cool I don't mean to get too personal here but there is a lot I can do with the extra half a million dollars that I will be keeping instead of handing it over to the state of California. Oh, and I am sure Ellen will be a little excited to keep her bazillion bucks that she pays in taxes too. Wow, come to think of it, there are quite a few of us fortunate gay folks that will be having some extra cash this year. What recession? We're gay! I am sure there will be a little box on the tax forms now single, married, divorced, gay, check here if you are gay, yeah, that's not so bad. Of course all of the waiters and hairdressers and UPS workers and gym teachers and such, they won't have to pay their taxes either.
Gay people are born everyday. You will never legislate that away.
Oh and too bad California, I know you were looking forward to the revenue from all of those extra marriages. I guess you will have to find some other way to get out of the budget trouble you are in.
When did it become okay to legislate morality? I try to envision someone reading that legislation "eliminates the right" and then clicking yes. What goes through their mind? Was it the frightening commercial where the little girl comes home and says, "Hi mom, we learned about gays in class today" and then the mother gets that awful worried look and the scary music plays? Do they not know anyone who is gay? If they do, can they look them in the face and say "I believe you do not deserve the same rights as me"? Do they think that their children will never encounter a gay person? Do they think they will never have to explain the 20% of us who are gay and living and working side by side with all the citizens of California?
I got news for them, someday your child is going to come home and ask you what a gay person is. Gay people are born everyday. You will never legislate that away.
I know when I grew up gay was a bad word. Homo, lezzie, faggot, dyke. Ignorance and fear ruled the day. There were so many "thems" back then. The blacks, the poor ... you know, "them". Then there was the immigrants. "Them.” Now the them is me.
I tell myself to take a breath, okay take another one, one of the thems made it to the top. Obama has been elected president. This crazy fearful insanity will end soon. This great state and this great country of ours will finally come to the understanding that there is no "them". We are one. We are united. What you do to someone else you do to yourself. That "judge not, lest ye yourself be judged" are truthful words and not Christian rhetoric.
Today the gay citizenry of this state will pick themselves up and dust themselves off and do what we have been doing for years. We will get back into it. We love this state, we love this country and we are not going to leave it. Even though we could be married in Mass. or Conn, Canada, Holland, Spain and a handful of other countries, this is our home. This is where we work and play and raise our families. We will not rest until we have the full rights of any other citizen. It is that simple, no fearful vote will ever stop us, that is not the American way.
Come to think of it, I should get a federal tax break too...
Melissa Etheridge is an Academy Award-winning and Grammy Award-winning singer-songwriter.
Here's the link to the page in which these adorable pjs are on.
All of our G Diapers are in now! :) I am so excited. We have two orange, cream, pink, green, and blue. We ordered them off of ebay, they came with lots of liners, and they were much cheaper. We also ordered a bag last week that is pink and green and got Peanut's name embroidered on it. She'll be able to use it to travel during her first year (trips planned to Mexico, Arkansas, Columbia, MO, Chicago, and maybe Colorado (Estes Park)). She'll also be able to use it for many years in the future. We are excited for her. We can't wait to hold her and cuddle her. We are just getting so anxious and excited!!!!!!
We are very excited about Obama being elected as our next president. We are saddened by Arizona and Florida choosing to vote for hate legislation. I am personally disappointed in my home state of Arkansas that now says gay people cannot adopt or be foster parents. I pray that Arkansas can open it's eyes and realize gay people are loving parents and great, caring foster parents. Jess and I are enraged at the passing of Prop 8. We got married in Ventura, CA on August 18th of this year. Ventura county was one of the many counties that passed a ban on gay marriage. We just don't understand how it affects anyone but us (all gay people). We pray that some how the lawyers can figure out a way to overturn it and if that can't happen we pray that part of the change that Obama promises will reflect in anti-hate and discrimination legislation.
Jess and I are currently in a Wide is God's Welcome bible study at church. It's purpose is to teach against the scripture that is used to justify hating gay people. We have a bible study of about 15 people, Jess and I are the only actual gay members. It is really exciting to be a part of this. We also ordered a daily devotional for our children and for us (the one for us is a gay and lesbian one). We are excited to grow our faith walk without discrimination and fear.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Photobucket is having issues...I'll post the pictures later.
Saturday, October 25, 2008
As for my health I am doing well. I have contractions for a few days and then they go away. I'm having some pretty severe pain at the top of my belly, right where my rib cage comes together. I'm sure it's just my expanding belly. I've decided the true miracle of birth isn't the baby (although babies are miracles too). The miracle is a woman's ability to completely forget about her experiences as a pregnant woman, her experiences in labor, and her experiences in delivery. I am getting quite bored and annoyed with all the rest...moving from the couch to the bed to the couch to the bed. If I'm good and rest all the time I am able to go to Julia's soccer practices and the girls parent-teacher conferences and crib scouting and cooking. So I guess it's worth it to rest all the time if I get to do normal people stuff sometimes.
All of our size small G diapers have now come in. We have two orange, one pink, one light blue, one green, and one creme. They are super duper cute and we are excited to use them on her little bottom.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
We went in for a sonogram on Tuesday morning to check my placenta and Peanut. Well Peanut was in there sucking her thumb with her other arm wrapped around above her little noggin. She was just kicked back and relaxed. She is weight in at about 1 pound 1 oz. Her head and legs are measuring right on track. Every other measurement is about 1 week behind...they said she looks tall and skinny. LOL. My placenta is less than 1 centimeter away from my cervix. I guess this makes it "marginal placenta previa" or low lying placenta. There is still hope that in 3 weeks my placenta will move completely out of the way, but even the doctor is really cautious about that. It's moved less than 1/2 a cm in the past 6 weeks and we need it to move at LEAST 2 cm in the next 3 weeks. Jess is absolutely terrified...her job as a NICU nurse just became extremely personal so she is dealing with a lot of those issues and fears. I am pretty relaxed. I have Let Go and Let God. I know that I am doing a darn good job of protecting Peanut. She's doing GREAT and seems completely unaffected by everything going on with me. If she is to be born early I know she will be okay...but I am going to do my best to keep her in there cookin for a few more months. We will get through this...she will get through this...I have faith.
Monday, October 13, 2008
Being on best rest is not one of my favorite things in the world. I am not the type of person that can "just sit" or "just lay". Right now I can see at least three or four things I need to do around this house. Luckily our house is fairly clean and most of the things are already done. Jess is trying really hard to make sure everything is done so that I don't have the temptation to get up and do. All I know is...
I am NOT delivering this baby before it's safe.
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Saturday, October 11, 2008
They monitored the baby for a few hours and did a sonogram and some blood tests. So far they think that it's just that her placenta is a little low still. The baby is still happy in there and doing all the things she's supposed to.
I'll update more as we know more.
Friday, October 10, 2008
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Breakfast: 30g of carbs w/ protein (ex three slices of turkey bacon, two eggs)
AM Snack: 30g of carbs w/protein (ex sugar free pudding pack, nuts, 12 pretzel sticks)
Lunch: 45g of carbs w/protein (sandwich, 15 carbs worth of chips, pickles, cheese)
PM Snack: 30g of carbs w/protein (yogurt, nut clusters)
Dinner: 45g of carbs w/protein and veggies (tuna patties, green beans, asparagus, garlic bread slice)
Bedtime Snack: 30g of carbs w/protein (1 cup chocolate ice cream w/crushed nuts)
I try to eat as much dairy and veggies as I can...some other snacks I have are homemade ranch with veggies, apple sauce, orange juice, celery and peanut butter, cheese
I also take 3 Flinstone vitamins each day and one Viactiv chew. I drink lots and lots of water...and try to have only 1 or 2 glasses of diet pop a day. Some days I'm better than others. I've learned that some foods are worth using my carbs for and some foods just aren't worth it. You'd be surprised at how many carbs are in even healthy cereals...it's pretty crazy what it does to blood sugar levels.
Monday, October 6, 2008
Monday, September 29, 2008
Monday, September 15, 2008
I don't want to be the parent that attempts to make my kids people they aren't. I don't want to be the parent that practices conditional love. I don't want to be the parent that lets my own past issues cloud my relationship with my children.
I love my step children as much as I can possibly love them without having actually birthed them. I want the same things for them as I do for any future birth children. It makes me sad to know that I missed so much of their lives as small children, but I still have so much of their lives to enjoy.
I just needed to share these thoughts...there is a reason...but it's very personal and I'd prefer to keep it personal. :)
P.S. Did I tell everyone we are having a girl?
Monday, September 8, 2008
We let our doctor know how frustrated and unhappy we are with the service we've been getting. We also let her know that although they've told us the gender of our baby...we haven't been able to have our gender appointment where they show us everything and we get the cute little photo of Peanut. (the previous day's appointment was simply to show us why I was in so much pain and see if everything was okay with my body) The doctor went and talked to the office and nursing staff we're guessing because they were all of a sudden nice to us, she also rescheduled our gender appointment for that day and did a quick blood sugar draw. So I guess we'll stay with this doctor for the moment. Although I'm not so convinced it will be a positive experience.
Turned out that my blood sugar was high and they scheduled the HUGE diabetes screen for the next day. I couldn't eat after 5:00pm Tuesday...I had to be in the office at 9 for a fasting draw, then I had to drink some awful sugar drink, then another draw at 1015, another at 1115 then a final at 1215. Once that final draw was taken I was finally able to eat. Turns out I have gestational diabetes. I have to go for an appointment at the diabetic center this week to learn all the details of what they are going to do; diet, blood sugar testing, insulin, etc.
Friday my mom and brother came in town. The kids were super super excited. I was pretty excited to see my mom. The weekend was great hanging out with family. Julia was super duper excited about hanging out with Uncle Michael.
Anyway we'll keep everyone updated. Hopefully more picture will come soon. I'm officially in maternity clothes all the time now so I'm sure we'll get a belly shot or two on here anytime.
P.S. Jess and I are going into Arkansas this weekend to see some friends that I haven't seen in too too long. Looking forward to seeing you Susan! And yesterday Jess' paternal grand father died. The funeral should be sometime in the next couple of days.
Friday, August 29, 2008
24 hours after we got married my dad stopped breathing and ended up on a ventilator in the ICU in Little Rock, AR. I stayed in constant contact with my younger brother and my mom about the situation. We flew back to Kansas City late Friday night/Saturday morning (we landed at 3 a.m.). We left Saturday morning after picking up the kids and dogs to go to Little Rock to see my dad. He is doing better now...actually left the hospital this week. It was quite scary and a VERY stressful time to be gone from the kids for 8 days in California and then to come back and leave straight to Arkansas. We are much better now though.
The girls leave today for Chicago with Jess' parents to see a play that their Uncle Dylan's friend is in. They are excited!
Next weekend my mom and brother are coming in town. While they are here we are doing something to celebrate our wedding... nothing big.
The following weekend Jess, the girls, and I may go down to Arkansas to see some friends and spend extra time with my family. After that trip I don't think there is another trip planned for the girls or for us until November THANK GOODNESS!
I hope everyone enjoyed the slide show from Cali. I will update you all next Wednesday after my prenatal appointment. We are having our big gender sonogram, diabetes screen, and just regular meeting with the doc.
Monday, August 25, 2008
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Well yesterday Jess and I were getting our eyebrows waxed for our wedding on Monday and I went up to her and decided it was time for me to take a trip to the ER. My stomach had cramped about 6 times Monday, enough for me to grab my stomach because it shocked me so much. Well yesterday my stomach was cramping about 3-6 times an hour. To me this seemed a little alarming. I was starting to feel really drained and super thirsty and quite frankly just very anxious about not knowing why my stomach was cramping so frequently. I walked into the ER pretty calm, thinking I'm just being hyper vigilant and overly cautious but nothing serious was going on. I was in the middle of registering when a nurse came and got me, left Jess and the girls in the waiting room, and rushed me to a room with all sorts of tools to check out my woman parts. I had one nurse firing questions at me, another nurse telling me to strip down and get a gown on, another nurse taking my vitals, and then finally a forth nurse came in to start an IV. This is not at all the reaction I was expecting. I got FREAKED out by all of that. Then about 30 seconds after sitting down in the bed the doctor came rushing in. The nurse trying to get an IV started blew two of my veins which are now giant bruises.
The doctor kept me there for nearly two hours. My blood pressure was high (No kidding I was stressed the hell out). It's never been even remotely high my entire life. They checked my blood sugar and that was fine. They were convinced I was not in labor or miscarrying. They found the fetal heart tones and it was 158 (however it took two different nurses to find this heart beat so that once again freaked me out quite a bit). My pulse was through the roof. Everything checked out except to say that I was dehydrated. I don't see how that was possible because I drinking water constantly during the day but I guess pregnancy takes a lot out of you and it all seemed to fit dehydration. Then the ER set an appointment with my doctor's office for an hour later.
In my doctor's office they checked my cervix and told me to drink more or they'd have to admit me. I'm thinking I don't have time to be admitted to the hospital. We are leaving Friday for California. They also did a sonogram to ease my worries and make sure nothing was going on in there with baby. Peanut looked wonderful. I've been put on pelvic rest because my placenta is sitting right on top of my cervix. We also found out the gender...
I'm doing okay today...still very thirsty and very tired....but I'll be fine.
Friday, August 8, 2008
We have struggled to find our way as a "family" over the past 15 months. We have listened to the nay sayers and the negative people in our lives and it has torn us all apart. We have listened to ourselves and our own hearts and flourished. We have listened to the kids and responded with love and conviction. We are now a family of 5 instead of one family of 4 and one family of 3. Yep that's right if you add those up they don't equal the same thing. No...we didn't ship anyone off to China. Jess and I now consider ourselves, the kids, and their father one big "weird" different family. We all love each other. We all respect each other. We are all there for each other.
Now my question is what do we do now that our family is being targeted by nay sayers again? It's hard to ignore people who are "family", but we take our life as a big family seriously. We split our time with the kids. He has them half the week, we have them half the week. We have worked hard to get ourselves all in places where loving one another was completely possible. Our love for the kids brought us together in the beginning, but now we love each other for each other...not for the kids. We are an awesome parenting team. It's awesome to see the kids flourish in our non traditional family. We have worked hard to get where we are... will we allow "outsiders" to break our family apart... will we allow "outsiders" to attack one member of the family without protecting that person... will we allow "outsiders" to be any part of our family or will we only allow those into our new family unit that are positive and supportive? These are all questions we are facing right now.
Jess is an amazing partner/wife, a fantastic mother, and a powerful woman. She is a dedicated friend and a caring neonatal nurse. She gives me peace and hope. She calls me on my crap and she gets my humor. She loves me for me. I couldn't ask for more. I love every part of Jess. I love that she thinks she's hilarious sometimes. :) I encourage her to challenge herself (she wants to start running 5Ks again). I support her when she is down and out. I love that she wants to continue her education and further her career. I love that she has similar interests as I do and also introduces me to new things that she has interest in. I love how she loves her kids.
I am marrying her in 10 days. I am proud of our relationship. I am proud of our non traditional family.
Well today I ran across an ad for Thudguard's. I'm not sure if any of you have heard of them, but they go on your babies head like a helmet to keep them from bumping their heads as they learn how to walk. Now I will be one of those parents that hovers over my toddling child but I will not be putting a helmet on their heads for the occasion. What are your thoughts?
If you need the link it's http://www.babysfirstheadgear.com
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Jess and I were hoping that Peanut would hide from the Doppler today so that we'd be "forced" to have another sonogram because we want to know if Peanut is a boy or a girl already. We are impatient people and this not knowing business is killing us. We have changed our top names for both boys and girls, but this time we aren't sharing those names with anyone. We kind of want it to be a surprise for our families.
Countdown begins for California trip. Although we will miss the big girls for 8 days.... it will be nice to have a vacation. And onto future news, Jess' brother got engaged and is tentatively planning a destination wedding to the Dominican Republic. Woohoo! We are very very excited about this. It will be next fall, the girls will be in school so they'll be staying with family here, Peanut will be breastfeeding so he/she will come with us to DR. We couldn't be more excited about the experience.
Our first set of G Diapers came in this week. They are SOOOOOOOO cute! I also got my baby "bag" which is a backpack from Eddie Bauer. I figured it would be the easiest way to carry everything I'll need for Peanut, hold Julia's hand while crossing streets and in busy stores, and carry Peanut.
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Friday, July 25, 2008
Names: Jess and I have been talking baby names since the first week of our relationship. I'm not sure if it's a "girl thing" or what, but we decided on one name we both agreed on before even talking about conceiving. We are letting people know this name because she's been saying that she likes that name for years. We came up with some less than average girl names. We are IN LOVE with one of them and really like the other one. However my concern is the unisex nature of the name. Jess thinks it won't be a problem because if she totally hates it as a teenager or adult she can go by her pretty girlie middle name. I'm still a little apprehensive. I don't want her to hate us because we didn't give her a name like Lily or Stacy or Brittany. Let me know what you guys think about this subject.
Travel: We are leaving for a week in California and our wedding in three weeks. We are leaving the girls with their dad because their school starts the day before we leave for the trip. However next year we have committed to not only take the big kids to the beach house but we'll be taking our 7 month old Peanut. I am been thinking about the packing that will be involved in next years trip. A bag for each of the girls for a week. Then we'd need a carry-on for each of the girls because they get bored easily and when they get bored they fight. Jess and I would need a bag for our clothes. Peanut will need a bag for it's clothes, diapers, refills, utensils, bibs, toys, bathing supplies, medicine, etc. Peanut will also need its Pack and Play and we have one of those Graco snap and click swings that we are thinking about bringing and we'll have the carseat and stroller. Seriously! Eight days is a long time to be half way across the country with a baby, a teenager, and a primary school kid. If anyone has any advice on what is necessary to bring on a trip with a 7 month old I am very open to listening. Since it's a year away it's not like it's uber important to have the info tomorrow but I would like to know that its even possible to have baby happy for a week without the comforts of home.
The Girls: OMG! I love these girls. Charlotte is caring and sincere and eager to read. Julia is active and loving and eager to learn anything. They love each other very much and for the most part help one another do tasks and comfort one another when something is wrong or someone is sick. However at the end of the summer I'm pretty sure they are sick of being with each other 24 hours a day 7 days a week. Them being tired of each other makes a very stressful day for me. I have to break up arguments, lecture about using kind words, and separate them to find peace. Let's just say I'm not terribly upset they are going to their Aunt Kelly's house to hang out with her 4 kids for two days next week. :)
Saturday, July 19, 2008
I am so ready to find out if this baby is a boy Peanut or a girl Peanut. I'm ready to meet this baby and hold this baby and cuddle this baby. Over the past few days I have just really been yearning to see Peanut and hold Peanut and bring Peanut home. I'm still not looking forward to the actual labor part of the whole process, but I want that Peanut in my arms!
Friday, July 18, 2008
This summer has been sooooooo friggin busy. Over the 4th of July weekend we drove to Columbia to hang out with Jess' grandparents and cousins that flew in from California. We also went to the "Stewart Family Picnic". That was a trip. It was Jess' official "coming out" to her entire extended family. It was quite interesting but her family was amazing. I got to hold a few babies and play with a couple of toddlers. I enjoyed myself. Total driving time 10 hours.
The very next weekend we drove to Arkansas to see my family and go to my childhood friend's wedding. I got to see my pseudo niece...she turned 2 on the 4th. She looked so pretty at her mom's wedding...and she was finally old enough to recognize me...even giving me a good bye hug and kiss on the cheek. Total driving time 17 hours.
This week Charlotte is in an Environmentalist Camp that lasts from 8-5 so I've had lots of alone time with Julia. OMG having one child is SOOOOOOOO different that having two. Julia and I have gone to the pool three times this week, Jess and I took her to the American Girl movie, we've read lots of books, gone up to the hospital to have lunch with Jess, and lots of other stuff. This week we also went to our Sequential Testing appointment where they check for Down's, Tri 18, and spina bifida. Well Peanut refused to be still. Peanut was standing straight up and down and would just bend its knees and jump straight up and down throwing its hands in the air each time. The sonographer just kept calling peanut a jumping bean and then asked us to reschedule the appointment for next week. Peanut is still measuring 3 days behind.
Just thought I'd give everyone an update since it's been a while. I am feeling much better these days. I am no longer on progesterone so I am no longer nauseated.
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Sunday, June 29, 2008
And update on my mom. I finally called her back yesterday and we had a very tearful conversation. She said that this pregnancy is brining up a lot for her because her mother died 9 years before I was ever born and she had no family support. I explained that she is all I have and it saddens me that she lives so far away and it doesn't feel like she's totally on board for this pregnancy. We just basically came to the conclusion to cut each other some slack, she's going to be more "motherly" and I'm going to let her off the hook about being so far away and unable to be here throughout the stages of pregnancy except the birth. :) She will be here for that.
On the puppy front, yesterday while sitting in the living room a little chipmunk came up to our back glass sliding doors and started scratching on them and squeaking. This little guy was trying to get my dogs attention. Once Max figured out what it was they chased each other and stared at each other through the glass. It was definitely a sight to see. Then later in the afternoon the chipmunk came back and did the same thing again. Who knew chipmunks were so social. :)
Saturday, June 28, 2008
Last night our kiddos has a Vacation Bible School performance. i think it might have been the cutest performance ever! They were little surfers..surfing through the scriptures. You had to be there to truly appreciate it but to see our six year old get clobbered by the kid standing behind her on the risers while he was trying to dance and then watching our 11 year old pretend she was on a surf board surfing the waves...it was just hilarious.
Today I ripped up the carpet in the master bathroom and so far i've ripped up a fourth of the carpet in the kitchen! (who the heck puts carpet in a kitchen?!) Jess asked if I could do those two rooms while i was home today with no kids. We'll see how far I get on the kitchen. It's much more difficult than the bathroom was.
3 days till my sonogram that tells me if everything is okay. I'm getting rather nervous. I just hope peanut is happy and healthy and growing in there.
Friday, June 27, 2008
Some good news, over the last few days I have pretty much given up chewing on my finger nails. I have no idea why I'm not chewing on them anymore but I actually have nails that are decently long right now. Let's just hope this horrible habit has disappeared.
I will try and post some pictures of our puppies this weekend. They just got their summer hair cuts. Joey looks like he has pigtails. They wouldn't get out of their kennel for me to take pictures, but i did get some cute ones nonetheless.
4 days till my sonogram that tells me if the progesterone worked and that everything is progressing properly. Still no spotting so all seems like a good sign. 10 days till my second prenatal appointment.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
The girls are in Vacation Bible School this week. I love watching my kiddos without them knowing because you get to see how they really act and who they really are...without them knowing the watchful eye of Mama is on them...well today I got to VBS early...just in time to watch our youngest run away from her teacher and her class. Fun times!
So it is an interesting life we live. We have two children in VERY different developmental and social stages. We have the 11 year old that is encountering peer pressure to talk about and do things that are beyond her age (such as "hand jobs"). Yep that's right...she knows that term because her "best friend" told her and also told her that she needs to start doing that no later than 12! For crying out loud, are we friggin serious about that crap?! Yeah well she's not spending the night at that child's house ever again.
Our youngest is trying to learn how to read, how to add and subtract, and how to relate to other people appropriately. She is learning positive attention and negative attention. She is just having fun being a little kid.
Then there's peanut who is just growing in my uterus. Oh the joys of parenthood!
Thursday, June 19, 2008
On to the pregnancy. A stupid nurse from my dr's office called frantic Tuesday telling me my progesterone was low, I had to come right away to get progesterone suppositories, and that I need to schedule a sonogram for July 1st to make sure I still had the pregnancy. Was she friggin serious!? Had she never spoken to a pregnant woman before!? So I did exactly what she said and then the next day we called and asked another nurse more pointed questions. Apparently they don't like to see progesterone levels less than 25 and mine is 24.6. So panic averted. Borderline is still cause for concern, but it is not necessarily something to panic about. It is still very possible that I will carry this pregnancy to term with no complications.
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Today we got up, went and picked up the kids, took Jess' ex husband to work because his car is in the shop, came back home, got redressed into mom's house clothes :), went to deposit a check at the bank, went to Old Navy to get Sophie (a best friend's daughter) her 2 year old birthday present outfit, came back to the house so that Jess could take Charlotte to voice lesson while I hang out with Juli, when they return we are going to Pizza Shoppe for lunch, then to Mr Magorium's Wonder Emporium movie, then grocery shopping, then I'll take Juli to hip hop class while Jess cooks dinner, then we'll all finally get to shower and go to sleep! Oh my goodness Wednesday's are packed full of activity.
I am not having many signs of morning sickness anymore. I really get nauseated around 7 or 8 at night. Especially if I don't take a nap during the day. Who knows what the heck that is all about. Peanut is growing...I can't wait to hear peanut's heartbeat on the dopler. I think Jess is really thinking about purchasing a dopler for us to use at home. I can't say I'm upset about that. I like constant reassurance that Peanut is doing well inside there.
Our doctor is fantastic. She's pretty young, just got out of residency last year. She seems to really be able to work with my personality. I'm slightly high strung and worried about pretty much everything and she is great at calming those nerves. There is a midwife in the office if Jess and I decide that we would rather use a midwife instead of an OB. Right now I have not quite decided which direction would be best for me.
Jess and I found a natural baby store that is on our route to visit my parents in Arkansas. They sell BumGenius and other cloth diapers there...so it'll be nice to hold one and look at it and analyze it instead of just relying on pictures online. We are hands on type people. I think we have (meaning I have convinced Jess this is a good option) decided that we are going to buy everything for the nursery and for the baby except the crib and bedding (which gmas have already requested to purchase) so that when we have our baby shower it can be a fun process for our guests. What they bring won't be dictated by a registry. We're only asking them to bring anything and everything organic, green, and eco friendly and to use their imaginations. Therefore we have everything set up and purchased before the holidays since I'll be 35 weeks pregnant the day after Christmas I want everything done by Christmas. So that my last month of pregnancy is not complicated by needing to set up the nursery or put together a swing or go to the store and get this or that for the baby. Now our only problem is trying to find a time that is okay for a baby shower. We can do it early and have it around Thanksgiving or we can do it in the middle of December because the first week is Julia's bday so no baby shower that week and the 4th week is Christmas so no go there either...or we can do it the first or second weekend in January which is fine with me too. Gosh there is so much to think about. I am a planner...to a fault sometimes but I like things planned out so that's why I'm thinking about getting all the bayb stuff and planning the time frame for the baby shower and the theme of the shower and blah blah!
Anyway, I hope everyone is having a good week. I must get off here now because my 6 year old is pretending she is a kung fu fighter and i'm afraid she might try to kick a wall or the fireplace or something...
Monday, June 9, 2008
Saturday, June 7, 2008
I have now craved so weird food combinations. I like Edy's Lemon Ice bars alongside green olives. I like goldfish with slim jims. And right now I'm just been craving lots of chinese food. Especially egg drop soup, but eggs in any other form make me sick to my stomach. I am also really fond of garlic.
I cannot stand being around the smell of ketchup. I can't drink anything with milk in it. I'm not really diggin chocolate at all either. Too bad the kiddos love CHOCOLATE MILK. I am really not liking much fast food right now...the smell of grease makes me nauseated.
I sleep at night, but I only sleep about 2 hours at a time. Sometimes I am able to go back to sleep pretty easily but other times I am not able to go back to sleep for hours or at all. I'm not quite sure what's up with the waking up and problems sleeping but I am so trying to figure out what's up. I have gotten into a routine of taking a nap every afternoon around 1:00 and sleeping until I wake up. This is really helping me make it through the day a much nicer person.
I have been sooo extra emotional lately. The smallest things make me cry and I'm calm with the biggest things. It's all quite weird. I cried at the movie Angels in the Outfield. What in the world is that about?
Anyway just thought I'd also include a picture of our traveling kiddos. This was taken in April when they were in the airport parking lot with me waiting to fly to California.
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
I'm also finding a lot of support from blogland even though those women probably don't know that I'm finding support from their blogs. I love reading about other people's adventures in parenting as lesbians. I'm a very traditional person...very conservative...so it's really nice to see that other lesbian households run similarly to ours.
Jess' birthday is coming up in 17 days and I bought her birthday present Friday. She has never had a professional massage before so I bought her an hour Swedish massage for the morning of her birthday. She's working so hard to support our family so that I can stay home and raise our children. She deserves a relaxing treat.
My mom sent me some money the other day to buy some maternity clothes. I am definitely not showing yet, although without a shirt on you can tell I am expanding in my lower abdomen. I am very very bloated from all the increased hormones running through my body so my regular everyday clothes are super tight or don't fit at all. I've found that maternity pants and shirts are sooooo much more comfortable. So I'm very thankful to my mom for buying them for me.
Anyway I'll keep you updated
Friday, May 30, 2008
On to our second Beta numbers. They were 234 which is a doubling time of 1.49 days. We are so thankful to be pregnant and would love and appreciate a singleton baby, however we are hoping for multiples. Call us crazy but we feel like we are being pulled to parent more than one child. We'll keep you updated.
Monday, May 26, 2008
A friend of mine was getting rid of her baby stuff since her little girl just turned 1...so she donated a swing some blankets and towels.
Jess and I actually made a starter baby registry at Babies R Us...since my parents don't live here, it'll be nice for them to be able to plan ahead about what they would like to contribute to the baby. If anyone out there in blogland has old baby stuff they'd like to sell or donate we are open to figuring out shipping or whatever.
Thursday I will be back in the Drs office getting another beta test to make sure that peanut/cashew are still there and still doing fine. :)
Friday, May 23, 2008
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Monday, May 19, 2008
Friday, May 16, 2008
On the ttc front... no real symptoms as of yet. My temp is staying high though...keeps rising actually.
Monday, May 12, 2008
Donor update, our first choice for a donor disappeared about 3 weeks ago so we went with our second choice for donor. However today our first choice showed back up so if we are not pregnant this cycle we will use him next cycle.
On another type of baby note...our older babies decided to be VERY matchy matchy today. Since today was "twin day" at school Charlotte wore the same outfit as her best friends...and Julia wanted the same outfit. So today I went and got it for her because I'm a push over. And Julia got a new outfit that Charlotte wanted so I got Charlotte that outfit too. Here are some pictures from today's matchy matchy photo shoot..
Saturday, May 10, 2008
Friday, May 9, 2008
So tomorrow is the day we inseminate! We are pretty much just excited for the possibility of getting pregnant at this point. It's not every day that we come in contact with sperm! :)
Starting Monday I'll blog about my 2WW, fun times I know.
Thursday, May 8, 2008
So right now I am struggling with two very fundamental human dynamics....faith and clarity. I was raised in the Christian Church. I feel like the church gave me a great moral basis and provided me with an outlet to deal with those times in my life that were less than ideal. I even have a tatoo on my back that states "For it was then that i carried you." Now that can be taken in a Christian mindset and it can also be take as a parent/friend/wife/human. I found that saying in the Footprints poem. I have been struggling with my practice of faith in a Church. I think that the church provides the structure for children to develop their moral basis, and that is a very positive thing. However, since a few years before "coming out" I have struggled immensely with the Christian church and in the same breath religion as a whole. I have read books upon books about everything from Catholicism to Buddhism and Taoism. I have even recently researched Scientology to the dismay of family and friends I'm sure. What I've found in all of my research is that in no organized religion is my love for my wife honored, by strength as a gay woman admired, and my role as a gay parent fostered. Don't get me wrong, I am not trying to find a religion that makes me feel like I am a perfect person...I'm actually searching for the complete opposite. I'm searching for a faith that admits that I'm imperfect but strives to give me the tools to make myself the best person I can be. I want a lifestyle religion. I have tried going to the Universalist Church but it is so close to the traditional Christian church's beliefs except they leave out a LOT....so I can't follow it wholeheartedly. Each person has their own "walk" and I honor every person's walk and I respect everyone's particular beliefs. So what I found initially about one certain religion met all my expectations in finding a faith for me. It incorporates a belief in a higher power with the empowerment of the human himself/herself. So I called the local local church of this particular faith to ask the wonderful question of "Do you accept homosexual people in your faith?". Their response was of course we do, we accept everyone. So then I started reading the teachings of this particular faith to find out in the teachings it says homosexuality is a perversion and is "extremely dangerous to society" and the homosexual person is actually ill. So now I feel once again like society and the world religions will NEVER accept that I love my wife as naturally as a man loves his wife, it takes a lot of strength to be a gay person in today's society, and it takes a lot of inner clarity and strength to be a gay parent. I'm just feeling deflated and lost.
Sorry for the venting....
On the fertility front. We are inseminating Saturday and Sunday. We are super excited but we are also extremely nervous. WHat if it works? What if it doesn't work? What if we get preggo with one baby? What if we get preggo with more than one baby? Are we for sure for sure ready for this? Well the overwhelming thought that both Jess and I have is that we could not be more loving parents and we have a solid relationship so I guess bring on the sperm!
On the Portland front we have decided to relax on the idea for a while. We want to move, and if up to only she and I would move next summer. However it's not just up to us so we will just see how everything goes over the next few years. Either way once Jess' youngest daughter graduates we are planning on moving to a place that is more gay friendly, prettier, and not the midwest! :) Got any suggestions on where, other than Portland meets those criteria plus the criteria of a normal person can afford to live there?
Have a great weekend everyone!
Saturday, May 3, 2008
Our oldest daughter is having two of her friends spend the night tonight so her dad is dropping her off early this evening so that she can get ready for her little sleep over. Sounds innocent enough, except that I was raised in the south which means that our house needs to be spotless in order to have company over. So I spent the day doing the dishes (not my chore but my eldest child is going to pay me back another time), doing laundry, and ripping the carpet out of the girls bedroom. Yep that's right you didn't read it wrong...I ripped all of the carpet, pad, staples, and nails out of the girls room. There are some pretty nice hardwood floors underneath and Jess and I wanted to see what kind of shape they were in. Turns out they are not in bad shape at all. I cleaned the room, made their beds, waxed the floor, and rolled up all the carpet for the nice refuse people to take away on Tuesday morning. Tomorrow Jess and our little one are going to weed, get leaves out of the flower beds, and put mulch down, the oldest is going to work on a Titanic project for school due Tuesday and I am going to rip the carpet up in the girls bathroom and the front room. Sounds like fun doesn't it! :)
As far as our new healthy eating goes, I've lost 3 pounds and Jess has lost 4 pounds. We recently found some new items that are less than 120 calories a piece so they are helping us stay on our diet. I also made a really yummy soup last night. It had organic chicken stock, dried kidney beans, dried great northern beans, dried split peas, celery, brussel sprouts, carrots, and garlic in it. 190 calories for a 2 cup serving and it ended up making 8 2 cup servings...and I probably spent about 10$ on the entire recipe...and bonus I still have beans, peas, garlic, carrots, brussel sprouts, and celery left over. Jess likes it too so that's also a plus.
So I'm going to pose a question out to blogland.... When is the best/most ideal time to inseminate? We keep getting mixed information. We are planning on inseminating the day before ovulation this month which is in like 6 days. If you can help, we'd love the advice.
Friday, May 2, 2008
Thursday, May 1, 2008
I'm on my third day of Clomid. Last night I didn't get as dizzy as I did the night before. We shall see how I feel tonight. If I wasn't so hopeful that this would help me get pregnant, I would never ever come near Clomid.
I went to Home Depot today and got some veggie and melon seeds with a watering pale. I also found a push mower that I like. It's only $150. It's non electric, non gas powered. It's just one of those old school push mowers. I mean how much more eco friendly can you get than using human power only. Jess and I have also decided to start a compost pile to save on waste and to help create a natural fertilizer.
And on the last note...I got out of class two hours early tonight because tornadoes rushed through the area. Sirens were going off all the way home and so Jess and I ended up sitting in the bathroom (which is the only non outside wall room). Luckily no one that we know has been hurt so far.
Insemination count down is 9 days away!
7DPO blood test will be May 19th and potential pregnancy test will be May 22nd-May 24th
Monday, April 28, 2008
We did some research yesterday about solar panels and solar energy. Oh my it's kind of intimidating, but to think you could potentially make money from your local energy company for providing your clean power to the grid is kinda cool. Jess and I have decided that if we follow through with getting solar panels for heat and water then we will start out with a couple of each and then add to the number of panels we have over time. We hope to have enough panels to be self sufficient for energy and hot water in 15-20 years.
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Last night there was a very powerful storm. It was SO loud that it even woke up Jess during the night(and I'm sorry Jess but a train could barge through our room and she wouldn't wake up). The thunder was booming, the hail was huge, and the rain was pounding. As annoying as it was to be woken up several times throughout the night, it was really nice to hear those sounds...maybe next time they could happen late morning or early evening so I can look out the window and enjoy the weather.
So a day and a half after the healthy eating started I'm doing much better. Yesterday was a struggle, but today I am doing much better.
Hope everyone out there is having a great day! Message me to let me know you are out there! I'd love to meet more people.
Monday, April 21, 2008
I don't know if a typical 4 bedroom 2400 square foot home is 150K in Portland, but the Palm Harbor homes I found out start at around 150K, of course you also have to buy the land but I mean seriously. An eco friendly home for 10K more (including land) than a typical home...and sometimes 20-30K less than a brand new standard built home built with less eco friendly material. It's so interesting to find out all the information about eco friendly living and how attainable it all is...especially since it's so "cool" now.
Has anyone ever seen "For the Love of a Child". It was on Lifetime today. It's been on there for a little over a year and I've seen it a LOT. It is the most awesome story of two women that have a passion for protecting children and then they make that happen by creating several children's villages to protect children from child abuse and neglect...giving these children love, safety, therapy, and education. Protecting children is something I am so passionate about. There are so many cries that are never heard...