New Fun Stuff to Handle

So remember when I posted about having to go to the ER for dehydration? Yeah that was about 2 months ago. From that moment we started talking to our doctor about gestational diabetes. We felt like I was displaying a lot of symptoms although it was early to test. They put off the testing for a month from that date and when we got to the appointment where we should have had the test the doctor once again canceled it. I'm pretty sure I posted about that horrible appointment and the subsequent 3 hour diabetes appointment. Well that day we found out I do in fact have gestational diabetes (whatever happened to the fact that the woman knows her body best?). At that diagnosis it had been 4 weeks since Jess and I had started lobbying for answers. I was told the day of the test I would get in to see a diabetic counselor within a week since it was so early in pregnancy that I was having issues we needed to get a handle on it quickly. Turns out within a week really meant 3 weeks later. We finally went to that appointment and the diabetic counselor asked us why we weren't currently seeing a high risk OB. Go figure something our doctor didn't even mention. AND she gave me two days to use diet to get my sugars under the limits or insulin was where we would go. Wow this counselor moved fast! The new diet consists of eating 6 times a day...I like food...but I do not like food enough to enjoy eating 6 times a day. Counting everything, making sure I get enough of this or not too much of that...denying myself and my household of certain things because they aren't within the limits. It's difficult but I'm managing. Jess is even on the diet with me so I don't have to do it alone. She's lost almost 4 pounds! :) Today after lunch if I have any more sugars over the limit I will have to call the counselor and discuss my options as far as insulin in concerned. Keep me in your prayers please...

For the love of parents....

As a new step parent...and a soon to be birth parent... lots of issues have risen about what kind of parent I want to be. I want to be the mom that devotes my entire life to my children. I want them to have every opportunity to explore themselves academically, athletically, artistically, socially, and internally. I want them to understand that sometimes "no" is the best answer. I want to raise confident, strong, respectful women. I want to raise strong, considerate, confident men. I want to run a tough but fun household. I want my children to know that I love them more than anything in the entire world and that NOTHING will ever change that. I also want to be the mom that makes time for my partner, my family, and my friends. I want my kids to be extremely connected to their family...all of their family. I feel like family is important and having a relationship with distant cousins, aunts and uncles that don't live in town, and grandparents from other states is important.
I don't want to be the parent that attempts to make my kids people they aren't. I don't want to be the parent that practices conditional love. I don't want to be the parent that lets my own past issues cloud my relationship with my children.
I love my step children as much as I can possibly love them without having actually birthed them. I want the same things for them as I do for any future birth children. It makes me sad to know that I missed so much of their lives as small children, but I still have so much of their lives to enjoy.
I just needed to share these thoughts...there is a reason...but it's very personal and I'd prefer to keep it personal. :)

P.S. Did I tell everyone we are having a girl?

Week in review

This week has been very UP and DOWN. Tuesday I went in for a sonogram to figure out why the heck I was in so much pain over the weekend. Turns out I had an 8 mm ovarian cyst of my left side...it has twisted my ovary which was causing all the major pain. The doctor's office was AWFUL... the staff was rude and inconsiderate. My doctor wasn't in the office she was on vacation. So then wednesday was our big gender appointment. I went in for diabetes check, gender sonogram, then our 19 week prenatal appointment. First of all the secretary (evil woman) cancelled the sonogram saying that I had a sonogram the day prior. Sooo then we get called back to the room...and then the doctor cancels the diabetes screen. At this point Jess and I were making plans to switch doctors/offices.
We let our doctor know how frustrated and unhappy we are with the service we've been getting. We also let her know that although they've told us the gender of our baby...we haven't been able to have our gender appointment where they show us everything and we get the cute little photo of Peanut. (the previous day's appointment was simply to show us why I was in so much pain and see if everything was okay with my body) The doctor went and talked to the office and nursing staff we're guessing because they were all of a sudden nice to us, she also rescheduled our gender appointment for that day and did a quick blood sugar draw. So I guess we'll stay with this doctor for the moment. Although I'm not so convinced it will be a positive experience.
Turned out that my blood sugar was high and they scheduled the HUGE diabetes screen for the next day. I couldn't eat after 5:00pm Tuesday...I had to be in the office at 9 for a fasting draw, then I had to drink some awful sugar drink, then another draw at 1015, another at 1115 then a final at 1215. Once that final draw was taken I was finally able to eat. Turns out I have gestational diabetes. I have to go for an appointment at the diabetic center this week to learn all the details of what they are going to do; diet, blood sugar testing, insulin, etc.
Friday my mom and brother came in town. The kids were super super excited. I was pretty excited to see my mom. The weekend was great hanging out with family. Julia was super duper excited about hanging out with Uncle Michael.
Anyway we'll keep everyone updated. Hopefully more picture will come soon. I'm officially in maternity clothes all the time now so I'm sure we'll get a belly shot or two on here anytime.
P.S. Jess and I are going into Arkansas this weekend to see some friends that I haven't seen in too too long. Looking forward to seeing you Susan! And yesterday Jess' paternal grand father died. The funeral should be sometime in the next couple of days.