Thoughts

As I sit here and watching Charlotte complete her vocabulary and watch Julia complete her math and watch Delaney sit on the floor and read her books I am finishing The Messenger by Jeni Stepanek.

I am waiting for Delaney's best friend to get out of surgery for her muscle biopsy. I am waiting for the speech therapist to come and visit Delaney. I am waiting for Charlotte to finish her school work so that we can talk about what we will do this weekend. I am waiting for Julia to finish her school work so that I can watch her play outside and enjoy the gorgeous day.

For me life has always been a hurry up and wait situation. Hurry up and get ready so you can wait on the start of school. Hurry up and get ready so you can wait on your teammates to arrive for practice. Hurry up and do all of you work so you can wait for the next assignment to be given. Hurry up and get dinner ready so you can wait on everyone to sit down and be ready.

Reading The Messenger has been thought provoking to say the least. In a time where we are in limbo...waiting...to hear what our youngest daughter's true definite diagnosis is...it was probably not the best book to read. In this waiting period our nerves/emotions are raw. They are exposed for the world to attack. Tears are flowing a lot more freely during these days of wait. Tempers are flaring a lot quicker. Anxiety is creeping up out of no where. We are living this life of frequent infections, constant feeding issues, seizures, gaining and losing skills, tears, pain, joy, triumph, simplicity, humor, learning, and laughing. We are living it without a name. And for some reason...for us...we need that name.

So anyway as I finish this book a piece of it sticks out to me and I want to share it with all of you...well at least those that still actually read this blog. (if you are out there leave us a message so we know we still have readers) :)

"This book offers the story of Mattie's choice, his decision to celebrate life and perceive it as a worthy blessing even during the most painful moments. It would be his hope, and mine, that his example now serve as a reminder that while we can't always plan our future or choose what becomes our memories, what happens doesn't have to define us, or limit us, or control us. We can always find something good in the moment at hand, in whatever comes next, and even in how we reflect on the truth of things past, and in that way, help shape the world. That is his essence, his legacy. As Mattie wrote: Blessed are those who, Bear the Torch of hope, For they shall have peace!"

We have a choice. We have a choice to add to the beauty of the world...or take away from it. I know I don't always make the right choices but I try to learn from the wrong ones.

Basically what I'm trying to say is whether your plight is a sick/special kid, a rocky marriage, your own illness, strained relationships, financial issues...read this book. It brings it all back into focus. You will be laughing out loud, talking to the book in places, and crying. It's an amazing read. One that I hope my kids will all read someday.