Yes, yes I know this is my second post today. I'm sure my dad will be thankful he has more to read.
So right now I am struggling with two very fundamental human dynamics....faith and clarity. I was raised in the Christian Church. I feel like the church gave me a great moral basis and provided me with an outlet to deal with those times in my life that were less than ideal. I even have a tatoo on my back that states "For it was then that i carried you." Now that can be taken in a Christian mindset and it can also be take as a parent/friend/wife/human. I found that saying in the Footprints poem. I have been struggling with my practice of faith in a Church. I think that the church provides the structure for children to develop their moral basis, and that is a very positive thing. However, since a few years before "coming out" I have struggled immensely with the Christian church and in the same breath religion as a whole. I have read books upon books about everything from Catholicism to Buddhism and Taoism. I have even recently researched Scientology to the dismay of family and friends I'm sure. What I've found in all of my research is that in no organized religion is my love for my wife honored, by strength as a gay woman admired, and my role as a gay parent fostered. Don't get me wrong, I am not trying to find a religion that makes me feel like I am a perfect person...I'm actually searching for the complete opposite. I'm searching for a faith that admits that I'm imperfect but strives to give me the tools to make myself the best person I can be. I want a lifestyle religion. I have tried going to the Universalist Church but it is so close to the traditional Christian church's beliefs except they leave out a LOT....so I can't follow it wholeheartedly. Each person has their own "walk" and I honor every person's walk and I respect everyone's particular beliefs. So what I found initially about one certain religion met all my expectations in finding a faith for me. It incorporates a belief in a higher power with the empowerment of the human himself/herself. So I called the local local church of this particular faith to ask the wonderful question of "Do you accept homosexual people in your faith?". Their response was of course we do, we accept everyone. So then I started reading the teachings of this particular faith to find out in the teachings it says homosexuality is a perversion and is "extremely dangerous to society" and the homosexual person is actually ill. So now I feel once again like society and the world religions will NEVER accept that I love my wife as naturally as a man loves his wife, it takes a lot of strength to be a gay person in today's society, and it takes a lot of inner clarity and strength to be a gay parent. I'm just feeling deflated and lost.
Sorry for the venting....
1 comment:
If you still feel like you might be called to a Christian church there are a few denominations that offer what you are looking for. My partner is going through the process of becoming clergy in the United Church of Christ. As a denomination they are "Open and Affirming" (fancy code language for churches that welcome and affirm gay couples/families) although individual churches may choose to accept or reject that label. I would encourage you to call the local UCC church and ask if they are open and affirming as a congregation, and if so how that plays out for queer couples in their community.
The Episcopal church in the US can also be very "open and affirming" depending on the congregation. This is the first denomination to ordain an openly gay Bishop. Again, I suggest calling and then visiting the local congregation.
Another option is to see if there is a Metropolitan Community Church in your area. The MCC was founded specifically as a queer church. It's a wonderful organization and the churches in my experience tend to be a little more evangelical - if you came from a more "non-denominational" church experience this could also be a really good fit.
All that said, I too am clergy - sadly in a denomination that can't seem to come to grips with the full humanity of their queer members - and so I really resonate with your feelings. My hope is that change in my own denomination will come from the inside.
Feel free to send me an e-mail if you are looking for resources, or alternately read http://lilysea.blogs.com/. Shannon writes wonderfully eloquently about this issue. Best wishes for a very successful pregnancy and birth! :)
girl dot knitter at gmail dot com
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